Fr. John
Harvey, the founder of the admirable organization Courage, spoke at my seminary
while I was doing graduate theology studies. He made a straightforward
statement about the Bible and homosexuality that I noted well at the time. I
have occasionally recalled his statement, and at times cross referenced it with
other situations. I think it is even more profound in the current scene. He
said that the only fundamentally sound way to argue biblical interpretations of
sexual sins is to go back to the creation of Adam and Eve in Genesis. In
contrast, he said all the other Biblical references to sexual ethics,
especially those lists of sins in which same-sex acts are condemned, will not
be sufficient on their own. Of course, right here anyone who is familiar with John Paul the Great's monumental work Theology of the Body will point out
that this is exactly what St. John Paul II did for the Church. Fr. Harvey was
probably thinking of the Theology of the Body when he made this statement at my
seminary. From the commencement of Theology of the Body, John Paul II did in
fact have in mind real current sexual ethic situations of our day. He was
thinking of Humanae Vitae, of the Church’s teaching on marital sexual ethics
and the state of life of celibacy. He was thinking of adultery and other sexual
sins that were condemned by the Bible (and still are condemned rather
explicitly). But he did not start with these things. He started at the
beginning. He started with Jesus Christ, who is the beginning and end of our
faith. He started with Jesus Christ, who was the Word who made all things as
described in Genesis. He started with the very words of Genesis that Jesus
Christ quoted when he was asked questions about whether married persons could
divorce. It was from this starting point that he retraced an entire outline of
the a moral life which harmonized in positive fundamental ways the moral
theology that the tradition of the Church had recently applied to sexual
questions of the 20th century, with a profound and coherent Biblical doctrine
about creation, redemption, and eternal life.
This post
is not a guide or a commentary on St. John Paul II’s work. It is rather a poor
and minuscule imitation of what John Paul the Great accomplished. He wove
together many threads of beautifully profound biblical teachings to make a
picture, a tapestry almost, of how our world should approach questions of
sexuality and fulfillment. I will simply trace one thread that seems to me to
answer a few questions that are in need of answering right now. In short, I
want to give a Biblical reflection which leads to a fundamental belief about
our desire for fulfillment in our human spirit. I want to give a practical
Catholic-Biblical answer to the question, “Isn’t it just as good for a child to
have two parents of the same sex as to have a “mother-father” pair as
traditionally envisioned by Judeo-Christian tradition?” My thesis up front is
that every person experiences, and will continue to experience, a feeling that
they want to know their mother and father (biologically speaking). I believe
the Biblical truth, which corresponds to this answer, is that it is fundamental
to our happiness and fulfillment as human beings to “honor one’s father and
mother” (again, I mean biological father and mother), because it is is a
commandment of a good and loving creator that continues to be spoken to us (for
our own benefit).
There is an
almost insurmountable challenge to my aims here. Those who have embraced same
sex marriage/parenting, if they claim to be Christian in any sense, are likely
not to interpret the Bible like I do. And further, they will see my argument in
natural terms, and simply say “nope. Our children, or those children with
same-sex parents, don’t have any such innate need to know their biological origins
so as to ‘honor’ their parents.” Even as I presume these possible responses, I
nonetheless want to express clearly the Biblical thread that seems so
powerfully significant in this question. I do it for Catholics who care about
the commandments of God and who have an interest to read up just a little about
related scripture passages. If anyone else happens to learn from this, I will
be happy to offer the smallest opportunities for new thoughts and new ways of
looking at a complex subject.
A little
known fact, which happens to be very relevant in my thoughts on this matter, is
that in the Genesis account of creation God speaks more than once on certain
days of creation. In fact, in the seven days which pictorially lay out the
spiritual and anthropological “schema” of creation, God speaks a total of TEN
times. It would be mere Biblical trivia, except for the fact that great
theologians have seen this as a Biblical prelude to the other significant
passage in which God “speaks” ten times. Pope Benedict, writing before his
election as pope, expressed a correlation between the words God spoke
in Genesis, and the Words God spoke in Exodus. The Ten Commandments, as spoken
by God in Exodus, and repeated in Deuteronomy, are historically referred to as
“The Decalogue,” a shorthand name used by many saints and theologians. The word
Decalogue is Greek, meaning... you guessed it, “Ten Words.” It means “the ten
things God said.”
Let me put
the correlation this way. God spoke ten times when he put together the “schema”
of the universe. God spoke ten times again when he wanted to establish
humanity’s good and necessary role in the schema of the universe. In the first
“decalogue” of Genesis, God put in place a plan for all creation. In the second
“Decalogue” of the Ten Commandments God tells men and women how they should act
within creation. This means that the Ten Commandments are not moral imperatives
dictated in the manner of arbitrary rules at the will of a finite human person.
It is not merely that “daddy said so” that we should follow some “rules” about
good and evil. The “rules” are rather a consequence of the fact that we enjoy the very goodness of existence, because “God said…” in the first place.
If God’s spoken words are the Biblical foundation of creation, and thus of all goodness in creation, then there is no question as to whether his spoken words correspond to what is
good for us as human beings, part of his creation.
This has
great implications, as the above mentioned theologians point out. Now, I’m not
going to spend much time harping on the theme, that the reason people don’t
understand the commandments of God properly is because they are mistaken about
the fundamental “schema” of God’s creation. That might be a fun argument to get
into, but I want to be very practical here. Jesus was very practical at certain
times, and one such time is when he wanted to give an example of something that
the Pharisees of his time had gotten fundamentally wrong. I am thinking of the
passage in which, appropriately, this very subject of “God’s commandments” has
come up, and Jesus decides to give a practical example of how they have really
blown one of the commandments. I read Mark 7:1-13,
Now when the Pharisees with some scribes who had come from
Jerusalem gathered around him, they observed that some of his disciples ate
their meals with unclean, that is, unwashed, hands. (For the Pharisees and, in
fact, all Jews, do not eat without carefully washing their hands, keeping the
tradition of the elders. And on coming from the marketplace they do not eat
without purifying themselves. And there are many other things that they have
traditionally observed, the purification of cups and jugs and kettles [and
beds].) So the Pharisees and scribes questioned him, “Why do your disciples not
follow the tradition of the elders but instead eat a meal with unclean hands?”
He responded, “Well did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written:
‘This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; In
vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines human precepts.’ You disregard
God’s commandment but cling to human tradition.” He went on to say, “How well
you have set aside the commandment of God in order to uphold your tradition!
For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and ‘Whoever curses father
or mother shall die.’ Yet you say, ‘If a person says to father or mother, “Any
support you might have had from me is qorban” (meaning, dedicated to
God), you allow him to do nothing more for his father or mother. You nullify
the word of God in favor of your tradition that you have handed on. And you do
many such things.”
Note first
the contrast between ever present “human traditions,” and the real affirmation
of Divine Commandments which we have a moral obligation to fulfill. Men can come
up with their own schema of how to live a happy and fulfilled life, but when
that schema goes against God’s commandments it will certain be flawed and lacking. This is a way of restating the above point, that of putting God’s
purposes first in a way that acknowledges the value of the commandments. In
this practical example, nowhere did God command the washing of hands. It is not
evil to wash one’s hands. We know now that it is rather a healthy habit, and
human tradition worth passing on. But Jesus tells the Pharisees that they are
promoting a human rule with more concern and zeal that some of the actual
commandments that were spoken by God. If God created all that exists, his
commandments should come first before we start filling in the details of what we
shall, or shalt not, do.
Here an
example would be helpful, and so Jesus picked an example. He referenced a
commandment that they should be obeying within God’s schema of the universe. We
know from the Gospels that there were several commandments Jesus could have
chosen for this example, but here he chose the commandment “honor your father
and your mother” (Fourth Commandment in the Decalogue for Catholics and
Lutherans, Fifth in the numbering that other Christians use). It is rather
apparent that the people Jesus was criticizing here were still enjoying the
possession of these goods which were supposedly “dedicated to God.” They were
simply being bad sons and daughters to their parents, by coming up with an
excuse not to provide for their material needs in later life. Imagine saying to
you parents, “sorry, I would help you out here, but I put the Church in my will
so I don’t want to use that much money on you!” As a pastor, I would first be
skeptical that anyone would do and say this. But in the case that I found out
it was true, I would match Jesus’ tone and answer. “God will provide for the
Church through others. Now stop being a bloody hypocrite and help your
parents!”
Jesus
quoted various commandments of the Decalogue, as recorded in various parts of
the Gospels. I want to emphasize here that Jesus did quote and affirm the
commandment “honor your father and your mother” quite explicitly, and he even
did it with the purpose of directly and sharply criticizing those who were not
obeying it. Think about that. How are you honoring your father and mother? If
you think that it is such a simple commandment and that you have done a very
good job keeping it, even in your adult life, I propose that all the above here should cause us to think more carefully. Jesus did not insist
on the commandment so forcefully, and criticize those who broke it so harshly,
because it was something easy and "run of the mill." The commandment has roots
that touch the very meaning of our existence. To fulfill the commandment
completely is something nearly as costly as becoming a saint.
Let me say
very clearly, that in Biblical terms, we have here a very profound affirmation
of God’s plan for family. Just as the commandment to honor both father and
mother as our pro-creators cannot be discarded, so the masculinity and
femininity of husband and wife must be upheld in God’s schema of creation. If
we are to affirm God’s schema of creation as revealed to us in Scripture,
“bride and groom” are in fact the moral roles corresponding to fatherhood and
motherhood, both essentially defined by the begetting of a human soul. Great
ideals like monogamy and indissolubility are implied in the commandment “honor
your father and mother,” because God wished that father and mother should
really be united in lives that are both honorable, even if their children rebel
from that due honor (and rebel against God at the same time). Or, in another
scenario, if a person’s father and mother have done nothing exceptionally to
deserve that honor commanded by God, then the commandment still holds in force,
because God’s blessings of creation have in fact been brought to each of us
through father and mother. Think about it, even in the horrible case of a
conception by rape, the Biblical logic of the Decalouge commands a child to
forgive the sins of his father, in order not to lose the blessings of the
Father in heaven. It is a better thing to exist as a part of God’s creation,
than to lose one’s very life and existence in protest against this commandment. The only option that leads to happiness is to hate the sin but love the sinner, without allowing death as solution to the sins of earthly fathers.
Turning to
practical examples in our day and age, this reflection on the biblical thread
has brought me back to the answer I proposed. What about children of same-sex
couples, those with two fathers or two mothers? To pretend that these situations are "all good," is to miss out on an essential part of God's scheme for happiness. Those who accept my Catholic
Biblical interpretation above will support my answer as both reasonable and
doctrinal. Those who do not accept it I hope will still think about the ways
that it agrees with their own intuition or philosophy of life. It is not “just
as good” for a child to have two parents of the same sex as to have a
“mother-father” pair as traditionally envisioned by Judeo-Christian tradition.
Every person experiences, and will continue to experience, a feeling that they
want to know their mother and father. Every person wants to believe that their
own existence is inherently good, and this means that they want to be wanted by
their father and mother. If they cannot grow up under the loving care of their biological father and mother, then the next best thing will always be to have a loving father-figure and mother-figure to guide them in God's intended attitude towards family.
If a person cannot live with a loving father and mother, if their family has been chosen for them via some contracted procreative technology, or straightforward adoption, it is still the duty of father-figures and mother-figures to teach a love and respect for parents and procreation. It is the corresponding duty of every living human being to honor father and mother as best as they can. These duties are even affirmed in the experience of trying to get away from them. It is those who bear a hatred towards their earthly parents who can never escape the emotionally self-destructive trap of anger. It is those who learn of a heavenly Father, and who forgive the sins of their earthly parents, who are more easily set free from all irrational compulsions and animosities. While this is a Biblical perspective, I think most people who don’t accept the Biblical narrative will still have an intuition that there is something true in it.
If a person cannot live with a loving father and mother, if their family has been chosen for them via some contracted procreative technology, or straightforward adoption, it is still the duty of father-figures and mother-figures to teach a love and respect for parents and procreation. It is the corresponding duty of every living human being to honor father and mother as best as they can. These duties are even affirmed in the experience of trying to get away from them. It is those who bear a hatred towards their earthly parents who can never escape the emotionally self-destructive trap of anger. It is those who learn of a heavenly Father, and who forgive the sins of their earthly parents, who are more easily set free from all irrational compulsions and animosities. While this is a Biblical perspective, I think most people who don’t accept the Biblical narrative will still have an intuition that there is something true in it.
Nothing I say here means that in itself the arrangement of a man and woman together
raising children automatically instills more goodness and virtue in children than any other household arrangement. True, there may be husbands
and wives who are terrible parents and who, in their parenting, obscure God’s
good plans for life and creation. Foster parents or adopted parents might be
much better for some children, but never in a way that rebels against the
commandment Jesus insisted on so powerfully. Nothing here rules out the
possibility of adoption. By the grace of God adoption can fulfill God’s plans
for families. It was by a heavenly adoption that God redeemed the world. In the case of human adoption, I am not even saying that a child
adopted by a same-sex couple will never benefit from forms of fatherly care, or
motherly care, that they receive from the parental figures that their
adoption has established. I am saying that every child will come to entertain in some ways the very question of
their meaningful existence - where did I come from? - and they will not be
satisfied with any answers unless those answers brings them definitively to
God’s plans for their life.
To make sense of God's plan, a person needs to "come to terms" about whether it is
a good thing or a bad thing - in the overall schema of creation - that their
biological parents brought them into existence. This question is usually not
entertained consciously. It is always entertained subconsciously in the
question of whether a person holds a love and goodwill towards their father and
mother, or whether they hold a hatred for their father and mother. In human
terms, there is one biological father and one biological mother. Towards those two people, one of these sentiments will ultimately win out: either love, or hate. Getting
the answer right is absolutely crucial for coming to love the true Father, and
his plan for all His creatures. All father-figures and all mother-figures, all "parental" figures, should take note.